Ape Machine is Caleb Heinze – Vocals, Ian Watts – Guitar, Jimi Miller – Guitar, Brian True – Bass, Damon Delapaz – Drums.

Ape Machine is Caleb Heinze – Vocals, Ian Watts – Guitar, Jimi Miller – Guitar, Brian True – Bass, Damon Delapaz – Drums.


The purpose of this webzine is to find the most fuckable men in the entertainment business. I have found five for the music side.

Ape Machine is one of those rare bands where ever member is drop dead gorgeous. Being a rehabilitated band slut gives me the unique ability to describe how hot these guys really are! It is well worth the price of admission to stare at them.  AND they play music.  (Remember, you are not technically a stalker if you carry a camera and submit the photos to a webzine.)

The Ape Machine is a Portland based band with a rock bluesy sound.

When I saw they were going to be in the area.
On a Thursday.
At a relatively unknown venue.
I wasn’t sure it would be worth my time to go to a show.
I checked them out on MySpace.
Boy was I wrong!
I double checked to make sure I had the correct profile. The demos on their profile were wonderful.

Their CD “This House Has Been Condemned” drops in May and will be released on vinyl, digitally and on a CD that will be included with the vinyl purchase.

Ape Machine is Caleb Heinze – Vocals, Ian Watts – Guitar, Jimi Miller – Guitar, Brian True – Bass, Damon Delapaz – Drums.

If you have read my best-selling “how to” book for aspiring band sluts, Always Fuck The Drummer you know how important I think it is for a band to have a good drummer.

Damon Delapaz gets my vote. To say drummer Delapaz kicks ass is an understatement, his technique is mesmerizing. He has a style that appears to be relentless abandonment of the rules while maintaining total control of the sticks. I don’t have the vocabulary to adequately describe how enjoyable it is to watch him play.

There are times when a drummer like Delapaz will chew up the wall paper and completely overwhelm the other band members. Not here, Ape Machine is so tight that he complements rather than overwhelms. Each band member brings the same excellent level of talent and professionalism to the stage.

The band’s name is interesting and unique. (There aren’t 35 pages of bands with the same name when you go to MySpace.) Watts said he had a tape deck in his recording studio that had lost the “t” in tape. The resulting sticker was ape machine. This reference became the name of the band.

My interview was short and missing my most in depth questions. We were outside in a cold wind and they were hot and sweaty. Don’t get me wrong, I love hot sweaty men I was just worried they would get a chill. Next time I will delve into the more important aspects of their music with questions like, “Do any of you sleep in the nude?”

Ape Machine Caleb Heinze – Vocals

Ape Machine Caleb Heinze – Vocals

Like all good things the show came to an end with the last song of the night.

It was blues sexy.

Voice and music and men, Oh My!

Heinze delivered “Blues in E Flat – Never Go Home” in a way that can only be described as “take your clothes off and throw yourself on the stage”.

My recommendations:
1.   Go to our photo gallery for pics from that night.
2.  Listen to them on MySpace.
3. Catch a show, Ape Machine tours down to San Diego and back every   two months. Their next tour starts May 1st.
4. Look for more about Ape Machine on CFM.